Travelling...

I find myself in an airport again, borrowing Internet. The Florida sunlight streams in from the window behind me, obstructing my view with reflections and distracting spots on my monitor screen. It's interesting how I've never seen them as prominently before.

It's a bit like life lately. You can go on blindly under clouds, knowing that the imperfections and spots are there, but until you see it under the right light, you can ignore them. I've been under the sunlight a lot lately, and it's really got me thinking. Thinking about mistakes I've made, and realizing that living without regrets is a tough, if not nigh unto impossible life.

Gate D7 of Southwest Florida International Airport is beginning to fill up with people.

As eager to move, and just as controlled and trapped, as the thoughts in my head seem to be lately. Thinking again of old flames, and the old problems they bring. Thinking of new interests and troubles. Wondering if I've made the right choice in a lot of ways, and roads of life.

The plane still hasn't made the gate outside, and I begin to wonder if we'll stay "on-time" and joke to myself that on-time is late.

Glee Club has really stepped up the level of involvement, and really challenged my ability to procrastinate, which has been an enjoyable struggle. I feel more and more at home with my Club brothers. After a 25-hour bus ride, almost anyone can feel the bonds, and tension, of a group like that.

The number of college age people around the gate is rather surprising. This is what a college Spring Break is all about. Several of us sit behind the protection of glowing monitors. Others chatter on the phone and enjoy the fruits of young love. One sits, in Navy blues, texting, possibly the last time for a while he can. It reminds me...

...of old flames. I saw her. Two days past, I saw her, and I ignored her. Some "big man" I am. I sent her a message, with no reply, but I tried damnit. Tried like a slug tries. In tiny shrugs he tries, and eventually, given the right conditions, he succeeds. A man walks in great strides, and overcomes his obstacles. Let's see what may become of the man within the slug. I'm angred by my pathetic response, and really wonder how I've let myself behave this way.

The seat back is warm and stiff against my own back. A young girl and her grandmother wander, looking for a seat. A sip of my 5 dollar coffee, and I return to the keyboard, clearing my head of all the things which have plagued me for the last few days. My computer shifts power settings, as it is prone to do after some prolonged use. I leave it, instead of changing it. It hides the spots, and makes things easier to see...