A Year...

...almost to the day.

I am again arriving home from my Spring "Break" with my Brothers in Song, the Purdue Varsity Glee Club. This year though, I spent time riding home with my brothers instead of flying out later. It's funny to realize just how much the world around you can change in leaps and bounds, and how much spending time with friends that you wouldn't normally, can change things between you.

Since my last writing, my life has made some huge changes. First of all, old flames are of no concern anymore. I reconciled with the last of them, and brought closure to the whole business. As well, I have only one flame nowadays, and that's quite alright with me. Rachelle Buuck is the greatest thing to ever happen to my life. As I am writing, I'm sitting on her couch waiting for her to come home to me tomorrow.

This Spring Break was phenomenal. In just 10 short days, the PVGC stepped up our game completely. We sang for 10 sold out shows, had a police escort out of Greeneville (yes, with an E), TN, and spent over 50 hours on a bus. Bill, we are rock stars, and we certainly brought "the funk". As well, I spent time with a wonderful homestay in the Appalachians, with one of the most breathtaking views I have had the pleasure to have seen.

Kyle Hoos and I at the Painter's. (March 12th, 2010)

My homestay in Florida was, my house. It was nice to spend some time with some of the guys I don't always see. Tim Harris, Jeremy Chance, and Jeremy Clifford spent the week with my Mother and Father, as well as Buuli and Angus, Bill's new favorite cat. Throughout our week we had a few chances to sit around and talk about past and present experiences in club, mostly while hot tubbing. The second round of hot tubbing lasted 2 hours thanks to a very refreshing cool rain falling on our faces. I am thankful to have had the three guys around to get a sneak peek at the places I enjoy, like Flora & Ella's and Corkscrew Cypress Swamp Sanctuary, and to spend some good time in fellowship.

The bonds of brotherhood are much stronger now than I have ever felt them before. After all the time together, and proving ourselves capable of so much, there is no other place I'd rather be.

The next few weeks are going to be tough. But I know with a little help, and a little faith, I can prevail. Also, Humans versus Zombies returns to Purdue University, and it is back with a vengeance.

Hopefully, I can update more often, and really get out my thoughts. Thanks to J. Chance, for inspiring me to return to the blog I created to have meaning.

P.S. There are still spots on my screen, and I kind of like it that way.

Travelling...

I find myself in an airport again, borrowing Internet. The Florida sunlight streams in from the window behind me, obstructing my view with reflections and distracting spots on my monitor screen. It's interesting how I've never seen them as prominently before.

It's a bit like life lately. You can go on blindly under clouds, knowing that the imperfections and spots are there, but until you see it under the right light, you can ignore them. I've been under the sunlight a lot lately, and it's really got me thinking. Thinking about mistakes I've made, and realizing that living without regrets is a tough, if not nigh unto impossible life.

Gate D7 of Southwest Florida International Airport is beginning to fill up with people.

As eager to move, and just as controlled and trapped, as the thoughts in my head seem to be lately. Thinking again of old flames, and the old problems they bring. Thinking of new interests and troubles. Wondering if I've made the right choice in a lot of ways, and roads of life.

The plane still hasn't made the gate outside, and I begin to wonder if we'll stay "on-time" and joke to myself that on-time is late.

Glee Club has really stepped up the level of involvement, and really challenged my ability to procrastinate, which has been an enjoyable struggle. I feel more and more at home with my Club brothers. After a 25-hour bus ride, almost anyone can feel the bonds, and tension, of a group like that.

The number of college age people around the gate is rather surprising. This is what a college Spring Break is all about. Several of us sit behind the protection of glowing monitors. Others chatter on the phone and enjoy the fruits of young love. One sits, in Navy blues, texting, possibly the last time for a while he can. It reminds me...

...of old flames. I saw her. Two days past, I saw her, and I ignored her. Some "big man" I am. I sent her a message, with no reply, but I tried damnit. Tried like a slug tries. In tiny shrugs he tries, and eventually, given the right conditions, he succeeds. A man walks in great strides, and overcomes his obstacles. Let's see what may become of the man within the slug. I'm angred by my pathetic response, and really wonder how I've let myself behave this way.

The seat back is warm and stiff against my own back. A young girl and her grandmother wander, looking for a seat. A sip of my 5 dollar coffee, and I return to the keyboard, clearing my head of all the things which have plagued me for the last few days. My computer shifts power settings, as it is prone to do after some prolonged use. I leave it, instead of changing it. It hides the spots, and makes things easier to see...

End of January

Here I stand at the end of January, watching the Super Bowl.

Looking back, this has been a strange month. I feel as though I have grown a lot in the last semester and a month. My confidence has grown, I've met all sorts of new people. I feel like a completely different person than I was a year ago. I can account for all sorts of things which have lead to this place: the way I was raised, being so far from home, my time with the Glee Club, and being at a world-renowned school (Boiler Up!). In the end though, each of these has molded me, my choices, my actions, have molded me.

Looking ahead, I have a whole world ahead of me. Having changed majors, I am far more excited about classes, and this feels far more right than Engineering ever did. There is so much to see and do: traveling with the greatest brotherhood I have ever experienced and learning more in my field of study. This will be a long journey though. I need to make up for lost ground, seek a greater work ethic, and play as hard as I work.

Here's to the future.

Maiden Voyage

This is a new outlet for me. I have tried several blogs and online journals in the past, and each time it has more become a dumping ground for whatever crosses my mind for 5 minutes or a collection of song lyrics meaningful for some reason at the time.

The hope here is to create a place at the end of the week to unload thoughts, feelings, and events. The Fuzion Coil is a place of mental coalescence. Feel free to share your thoughts, and welcome.

The ever infamous,

Ethan